I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
