I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
