chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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