I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
