I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
