he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
