my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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