Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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