I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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