i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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