dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
