I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
