I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
