I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
