Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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