I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
