does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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