went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
