I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
