my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
