How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
