please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
