I molested 6 butterflies tonight
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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