dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
