I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
