put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
