I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
