That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
