So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
