The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
