Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
