I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
