I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
