My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
