So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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