I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
