And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
