you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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