End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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