He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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