found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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