So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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