I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
