it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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