i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
two words...techno handjob
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
