Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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