So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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