Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
