everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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