Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
