just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
