yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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